He Knows Our Frame
Pslam 103:14-16

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Lake Vacation and the Fragility of Life Part 2

Please make sure you read part 1 first if you haven't done so already.  (They go together :) )
So on to the fragility of life part of the post.  As you can see from the pictures above, Josiah had a fairly rough week, or at least it started out that way.  He and I were walking down the stairs behind the lake house on Saturday morning (2nd day there) and we made it all of the way to the bottom, him holding my left hand and in my right hand a can of jet ski oil.  At the bottom of the stairs was a landing and a half step to the walk way down to the lake.  Well we reached the landing ok but then I overstepped the half step and turned my ankle over falling down with Josiah holding my left hand.  Poor guy did a face plant onto the concrete, about a 2 foot drop.  He immediately started screaming, and blood was pouring out of his mouth.  We cleaned him up a bit and waited it out to see if he had a busted lip or something not so serious.  He seemed fine all day, other than a bloody drool.  After taking a mid day nap, he awoke and the left side of his face was really swollen and starting to turn blue, plus there was the constant drool of blood.  So, I took him and Farah Beth to the Urgent Care Facility at Lexington Hospital in Lexington, SC.  They were great with him, and after an exam and CT Scan of his face, it was determined he had a few Very, loose teeth, but NO broken bones.  Praise the Lord!!  Nevertheless, the little guy was not a happy camper for several days.  His face was REALLY swollen and looked as if he had been in a boxing match with Muhammed Ali. 

The week went on and he did a lot better and we all had a great time.  On Friday we packed up and headed back home.  I was driving with Kenley and Lexton, Josiah and Farah Beth and Joli had the rest of the crew in the van.  We split up at I95 so that I could meet Kenley and Lexton's mom to drop them off at Santee and Joli headed home.  After dropping them off, Josiah, Farah and I got back on the road.  I called my mom and was on the phone with her as we got back on 26.  After a few miles I heard Josiah make a TERRIBLE noise.  I looked back and he was having a seizure! His face was redish blue and his eyes were rolling everywhere.  I immediately started screaming at him and pulled to the side of the interstate.  I got him out of his car seat and started crying out to God to let him live because he was so limp that I really thought he was dead.  I started doing CPR on him and after a minute or two, it seemed like hours, he started to cry and come out of it.  I was so shaken, and just started loving on him and thanking God.  Even now it is hard to write about without being overwhelmed.  I have never been that scared in my life.

There was no way I was putting him back in his seat, so he rode on my lap the rest of the way home (about 1.5hours).  When Joli and the kids got home, Hunter and I took him to MUSC where he had another CT scan and blood work to try to determine what was going on.  He was real lethargic for most of the time which was a concern to the doctors.  While there, it was determined that he was running a fever of about 102.5.  His CT scan came back good again and his blood just showed a slightly elevated white count.  The doctors then concluded that he most likely had a febrile seizure due to a rapid spike in fever.  This is common in toddlers and happens to about 1 in 25 kids.  Now we have 9 kids and have NEVER had that happen so it was like something we never want to see again. 

So while we were in the ER waiting for news, I read a devotional about Romans 8:28.  The writer made several points about how God works all things to good for those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose.  The writer said that many times we get used to the earthly things of life and start to grow dim to spiritual things and God allows these things to come into our lives to wake us from our spiritual slumber.  Another point he made was that so many times we live life as if we are eternal, at least eternally here on earth, and take for granted life and it's fragility.  Our purpose is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever, yet we get so caught up with things here in our lives and leave Him out.  Trials turn us to God, make us fly to His feet and His spirit intercedes for us with groanings we cannot understand.  When we don't know what to pray, God knows.  My first reaction was to cry out to God to not take him.  How fervant and desparate was that cry!  Yet, how fervant and desparate had my prayers been before that.  This whole trial moved me to seek Him with all my heart.

Now what if God had chosen to take Josiah.  How devestated I know that I would be because I can barely type it without wanting to cry.  But the thing is, if He had taken him He would still be awesome and glorious and majestic.  He would still be worthy of and deserve all of my praise because He is God.  The thing that really struck me today was the thought of not wanting Josiah to die.  I was screaming and trying everything I could think of to not let it happen (as if I really could stop it), but it was something that I could not imagine losing him.  So today, with that in mind, I thought, God gave His only son willingly for me and all who are called according to His purpose.  In fact, the bible says that it Pleased the Father to crush Him.  I can't imaging giving up my son for someone but God did it for people who have hated Him, who have rebeled against Him, and have turned away from Him to go their own way.  How incredible He is and how eye opening this has been. 

A little over 2 months ago I lost my brother and that has been difficult.  Many days thinking about never seeing him again, no Christmases or holidays together, etc.  During the week of our vacation, we had his kids and all week was a constant reminder of him through them.  All week God reminded me that "As for man, his days are like grass.  As a flower of the field he flourishes, the wind passes over it and it is gone and it's place knows it no more" Psalm 103.  Life is so tenuous.  At least life here on this earth.  We run and chase after things that are so temporal and they seem like they mean everything to us and we can't imaging life without them.  The fact is that there is only one thing that we can't do without and that is having Jesus as our Saviour.  Without Him, nothing else matters.  This life will be over soon for all of us.  100 years from now most people alive right now will not be here.  But life does not finish here.  There is an eternal life with God through Jesus Christ or an eternal judgement in hell apart from Him.  All things hang in the balance and Nothing apart from Him is as steady as we think it is. 

Sorry to get so long winded, but it is something that means so much to Joli and me .  A life and an eternity without Christ is no life at all.  Without Him, we can't possibly imagine how one can cope with losing a loved one or endure so many other trials of life.  He is wonderful and we love Him so very much.  Fly to Jesus and Live! 

As for Josiah,  he is doing great.  Below are some pictures that Joli took of him tonight.  After everything that has happened, it makes his "roving" a little easier to bare. :)

Still Blue Cheeked but Happy
OOHH! Literal Interpretation
Thank You for that Smile:)

The Hardwicks


  1. I love that little boy SOOO much, even when I have to get him out of the toilet:-)love you too dad and mom!!

  2. Your story has touched my heart in so many ways. First of all I actually had a son- Peyton who passed away a couple of years ago at six months of SIDS ( well that's what they call it when there seems to be no other explanation for it) And then just about a month ago my little girl who has just turned one actually fell off of the golf cart face first into the cement. It was just a freak occurence because I had been holding onto her and watching her the whole time when my 5 yr old screamed something at me. I just took my eyes off of her for a split second when she leaped off the seat and straight onto the concrete her face looked horrible but there were not broken bones or anything just some scrapes and bruises but it looked horrible. And I think I will feel guilty about that for the rest of my life because I could have prevented it. I am so glad that your son is better now too because I will never forget that feeling of holding your child limp in your arms and although we tried CPR he was already gone. The pain of losing a child is something that I would not wish on anyone in this world. And although I have actually given my life to Christ after this incident i still find it hard to understand why he wanted to take an innocent child who has done no wrong. But I've come to realize that He has a reason for everything even if we don't understand it at the time. You were right to put it all in his hands and don't feel guilty for wanting him to spare your child! That is only the mother in you - He understands that! Anyway thank u so much for sharing this with me it really touch my heart.